Tag Archives: humanity

We Don’t Get To Be Outraged

So here’s the thing… I’ve been following all this about #metoo and Harvey Weinstein and Keven Spacey and Louis C.K. and George Takei (etcetera, etcetera, etcetera) as it has revealed itself in the media like a silent slow motion space explosion. It has taken me some figuring out on my internal feels about it. I was expecting from myself to immediately leap upon the SJW outrage-train as I so often do, and rattle all the sabers along with everyone else.

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But for some inexplicable reason, I could not find it within myself. I felt… confused. As sometimes is the case, it has taken me a number of days reflection to figure out just what is going on within myself to be feeling this way. It all just felt so… hollow.

What it feels like is this. For decades, generations, maybe even centuries, women have been saying, “Hey, this here is a problem…” And for decades, generations, and maybe even centuries we continue to be silenced, cast aside, gas lighted, name-called, over-emotional, making stuff up, and so on and so forth. Then somehow the tides turn. A tipping point arrives and SUDDENLY people start believing.

Out of the wood works comes the outrage. Companies are dropping sponsorship. Contracts are slashed. Statements are being released. Investigations are undergoing. People are shocked. Shocked! I tell you!

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Meanwhile, us women are over here going, “Really? Where’s all this concern been for the last millennia?” I mean, this very same culture which is currently scrambling to decry predatory behavior is the very same which gave us John Wayne, Han Solo, Rhett Butler, Stanley Kowalski, James Bond, Happy Days, Belvedere Vodka, Edward Cullen, and Christian Grey. Not to mention the huge online communities such such as 4chan, reddit, Return of Kings, Men’s Rights, and so on. The same who cheerfully sings along as Danny Zucco’s leather jacket friend asks “Did she put up a fight?” and no one bats an eye.

The same which gave us the super questionable subplots in Sixteen Candles, Revenge of the Nerds, General Hospital, and so forth,  in which the underdog gets the girl after he literally rapes her. That which, for a good long while, only gave us the Princess Leia collectible action figure available in which she is wearing the gold bikini, literally the uniform of her sexual captivity…

The list goes on… and on… and on…

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We witness scads of movies in which the guy is ‘rewarded’ with the beautiful woman at the end due to his machismo, niceness, heroics, or because he tricked her somehow into liking him. The message is consistent. Do x,y, and z, and you get the girl. So when people do x, y, and z, and they don’t get the girl, they are faced with this dilemma and the underlying (or overtly blatant) message is, just go take it. Those who do are rewarded, lauded, and sometimes even voted into the highest office in the land.

Bottom line, we can’t name these men being accused of sexual assault and harassment as outliers, monsters which are obviously the exception. No. What we are seeing here is the natural outcome of a hedonistic society which devalues over half the population, viewing the majority of its citizens and commodities worth nothing more than the pleasure they can bring to those within the dominant demographic.

We are reaching a tipping point, and maybe this will bring about a new day of understanding among human beings. Change takes time, and maybe these allegations will in turn open people’s minds and begin a new era of self-reflection and mutual respect. But until then, I’ll be here, waiting for the Ghostbusters sequel.

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Guest Post: Edgar Bacon on America

Edgar Bacon is an essayist who also has several published works on Amazon. He typically writes under a pseudonym. Follow him on Facebook here. I am thrilled to have him as a guest blogger. Thanks Edgar!

So election day has come and gone in America. Some of us are okay with the results. Some of us are terrified. Already there are phrases being bandied about, threats of cessation. People exclaiming, “He’s not my president!” Others are smugly crossing their arms and declaring that we should all fall in line and respect him. Strangely these appear to be the very same people who dug in their heels and cried about every conspiracy under the sun for the last eight years. But about one thing they are right. The Electoral College has spoken.(I find it imperitive to point out that our girl did indeed carry the will fo the people through the popular vote.) Nonetheless, Donald Trump is the President Elect. There is no getting around it.

As chagrined as I am on the outcome, I will not be one of those people who say, he is not my President. I will say I did not vote for him. I will say I think he is wildly unfit for the job, but we live under the democratic system and it is what it is. As long as I choose to live in the good ole U.S. of A. he will be my president, regardless of how I feel about it.

What I will say is this. This is not my America.

Already we are seeing evidence of the kind of atmosphere we can expect for the next four years. Before the polling stations had even closed there was at least one shooting in California. All over social media, stories are starting to pour in about assaults both verbal and physical. Twitter feeds of open mysoginy are no longer afraid to keep quiet. Nor are they shamed to do so out in the streets during open daylight hours either. Racist statements which were once whispered behind closed doors are now proudly posted or spoken for all the world to experience.

This is not my America.

The vitriol which has arisen from this campaign has emboldened the hidden racism broiling not that far under the surface of this nation. The mysoginy and outright creep fest that this man has given us has rivaled that of coked-out movie stars. The priveledged live by their own rules. The problem is, this time he is in the most powerful position in the land. It is open season on… well, everyone. Unless you can hide behind being a cis, white, straight male, you are no longer safe.

This is not my America.

 People are frightened. If he does what he promises to do, we will become a facist nation. There is no question. That is, if we haven’t already. If ACA is repealed, people will die. It is that simple. This is why people are terrified. If equal amendment rights are rolled back a huge chunk of our population will lose so many rights that the rest of us take for granted. The level of hostility will rise. If Roe v. Wade is scaled back, millions of women will lose life saving access to care, and people will die. And finally, if some such foreign leader calls him the wrong name, or insults him somehow… well, I’ll let you do the math on that one.

I’ll say it again. This is not my America.

Walking down the street, I feel a modicum of safety in my everyday life. The America I know strives to provide that same level of safety to all her citizens. All of them. The America I know strives to be a world leader, an example of opportunity for people of all walks. Oh, and quick reminder, unless you grew up on the rez, we’re all immigrants. No caveats. No loop holes. Let’s get over that already.

It could be we will get through the next four years without so much as an incident. I hope that is true. Hopefully the system of checks and balances will keep everything running, the grind of working politics. Maybe all this braggadocious was just hot air and come January, he will show up with his game face on.

But whether he does or not, the evidence shows the people taking advantage of the example already set before us. It is these people that terrify me. It is these people who make my blood run cold at the idea that, yes folks, this in fact, is our America.

The Paula Deen situation

This post contains language that may be considered offensive.

Let me open with a clarification. I am not here to defend the words or actions of Paula Deen. I don’t know the lady. I have never met her. What I would like to address is the reaction to what is playing out in the courts and in the news. The impression I am getting is that she is  being metaphorically banished from the collective tribe of America. Food Network has cut ties as well as many others, at least twelve according to one headline. I think it’s safe to say her career is pretty much over. She is getting publicly vilified and why? So the rest of us don’t have to be.

Over the course of my life I have lived in Switzerland, Tennessee and in Kentucky. I’ll admit I grew up perhaps a bit naive about the racial history of America. I didn’t think much about the color of a person’s skin, hair, eyes, etc. and I just assumed that the rest of the world did the same. I remember the exact moment it all came crashing down for me. Sitting in one of the middle rows of my school bus in the eighth grade, the doors had just opened and a handful of students exited. The kids on the bus were loud and unruly, par for the course. Suddenly a white boy from the back of the bus, ran up the aisle towards the still open bus door. His face pinched with anger, cheeks flushed and fists clenched. The bus driver, a small but determined woman, immediately stood up and blocked his exit. The boy pointed to one of the others outside the bus. I still remember the vitriol is his voice when he said to the bus driver, “He called me a nigger-lover,”

The bus driver, the only adult in a vehicle full of at least fifty people, planted her hands on her hips and said “Well, you are going to have to get by me and I don’t think you can, ’cause you’re not big enough!”

The boy sullenly trudged back to his seat in the back of the bus.

I remember thinking several thoughts in the time span of the next few seconds. People still use that word? My next thought was, why is that an insult? My third, why is no one freaking out about what just happened? I didn’t understand, but just like the rest of my classmates I kept it to myself. From that moment onward I slowly began to realize that the world we live in is not the hand holding, peace loving, racially sensitive we’re-all-just-people love-fest that I had originally thought.

As time passed I became more aware of our downfalls. Yes, we humans sure do have a tendency to judge one another. I remember overhearing to girls in my senior class talking about a little boy in the day care that one of them worked for. They were discussing the child’s tendency to cry or throw fits. Then one of them whispered to the other “He’s black,” The other girl knowingly nodded with a sympathetic tilt to her head. But both of those stories happened in high school, nearly twenty years ago. Even if these small anecdotes are just samples of the overreaching attitude of the existing culture they can be excused under the umbrella of youthful indiscretions, echoes of a fading archaic mindset…right?

Wrong.

I have been fortunate enough to have a diverse group of friends over the years. One day in college some of us watched a movie, Romeo and Juliet and (really unnecessary spoiler alert) after the scene depicting the death of Mercrutio, one of my African-American friends exclaimed in frustration. “Every time!”

I said, “What, every time? What do you mean?” Though I already knew.

He said, “They always kill the black guy. Every movie you watch. The black guys always gets killed! Always!”

I said, “It’s Shakespeare. Everyone gets killed,” But I knew he was right.

He spent the next twenty minutes describing plot lines and movie scenes in which the persons of color existed for no other apparent reason than to provide fodder for the monster/ murderer/ bad guys/ mutant shark, etc. From that conversation onward I started to notice just how pervasive this phenomenon is in movies. But that’s movies. That’s just the fat-cats in Hollywood trying to meet the quota of diverse characters and failing miserably. That’s not representative of the real actual people that walk around and make up the real meat and potatoes of America’s consciousness…. right?

Wrong.

In the last week alone I have heard the water cooler chit chat go from “Have you heard about Paula Deen?” followed by head shaking and hand wringing about the state of the world. Then someone glances to the side with a wry smile and says in lowered tones “Have you heard this racist joke?” Instead of shutting it down, most people lean in, glance around and gleefully listen. Though I do not hear the actual “n-word” used in casual conversation, I hear underpinnings of racial tension.

Paula Deen messed up. Yes. There is no denying that. She is on the receiving end of some serious vilification. She is branded now and will probably never truly bounce back from this serious of a blunder. But the reason she is getting this treatment is not because of her mistake. It is to justify our own socially acceptable systemic racism. As long as there is a Paula Deen or a Michael Richards, someone within our society who crosses the socially determined line of what is and is not acceptable, we can point to them and say “I’m not racist, because at least I don’t use the n-word,”