Category Archives: misogyny

We Don’t Get To Be Outraged

So here’s the thing… I’ve been following all this about #metoo and Harvey Weinstein and Keven Spacey and Louis C.K. and George Takei (etcetera, etcetera, etcetera) as it has revealed itself in the media like a silent slow motion space explosion. It has taken me some figuring out on my internal feels about it. I was expecting from myself to immediately leap upon the SJW outrage-train as I so often do, and rattle all the sabers along with everyone else.

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But for some inexplicable reason, I could not find it within myself. I felt… confused. As sometimes is the case, it has taken me a number of days reflection to figure out just what is going on within myself to be feeling this way. It all just felt so… hollow.

What it feels like is this. For decades, generations, maybe even centuries, women have been saying, “Hey, this here is a problem…” And for decades, generations, and maybe even centuries we continue to be silenced, cast aside, gas lighted, name-called, over-emotional, making stuff up, and so on and so forth. Then somehow the tides turn. A tipping point arrives and SUDDENLY people start believing.

Out of the wood works comes the outrage. Companies are dropping sponsorship. Contracts are slashed. Statements are being released. Investigations are undergoing. People are shocked. Shocked! I tell you!

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Meanwhile, us women are over here going, “Really? Where’s all this concern been for the last millennia?” I mean, this very same culture which is currently scrambling to decry predatory behavior is the very same which gave us John Wayne, Han Solo, Rhett Butler, Stanley Kowalski, James Bond, Happy Days, Belvedere Vodka, Edward Cullen, and Christian Grey. Not to mention the huge online communities such such as 4chan, reddit, Return of Kings, Men’s Rights, and so on. The same who cheerfully sings along as Danny Zucco’s leather jacket friend asks “Did she put up a fight?” and no one bats an eye.

The same which gave us the super questionable subplots in Sixteen Candles, Revenge of the Nerds, General Hospital, and so forth,  in which the underdog gets the girl after he literally rapes her. That which, for a good long while, only gave us the Princess Leia collectible action figure available in which she is wearing the gold bikini, literally the uniform of her sexual captivity…

The list goes on… and on… and on…

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We witness scads of movies in which the guy is ‘rewarded’ with the beautiful woman at the end due to his machismo, niceness, heroics, or because he tricked her somehow into liking him. The message is consistent. Do x,y, and z, and you get the girl. So when people do x, y, and z, and they don’t get the girl, they are faced with this dilemma and the underlying (or overtly blatant) message is, just go take it. Those who do are rewarded, lauded, and sometimes even voted into the highest office in the land.

Bottom line, we can’t name these men being accused of sexual assault and harassment as outliers, monsters which are obviously the exception. No. What we are seeing here is the natural outcome of a hedonistic society which devalues over half the population, viewing the majority of its citizens and commodities worth nothing more than the pleasure they can bring to those within the dominant demographic.

We are reaching a tipping point, and maybe this will bring about a new day of understanding among human beings. Change takes time, and maybe these allegations will in turn open people’s minds and begin a new era of self-reflection and mutual respect. But until then, I’ll be here, waiting for the Ghostbusters sequel.

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The One About David Hon and His Dumb Article

It seems as if I am writing more and more of these responses than usual. Perhaps it is because there is a general increase of idiocy floating across my awareness than usual. Yay internet. Anyway, this most recent example is this oh-so-valiant article written by journalist David Hon, chronicling his reasons for not wanting to date a Feminist.

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Mmkay. Let’s go with that.

Even though there is just so, so much to unpack with this one, I am going to address one element which seems to continue to raise its ugly head, the one continuing misunderstanding about Feminism, which is mentioned in the very first sentence of the article.

“If you look for a reason to hate men, chances are you’re going to find it.”

-David Hon

Let’s ignore for a moment the fact that one can literally replace the word ‘man’ in this sentence with any noun and it would still work. Go ahead. Try it.

“If you look for a reason to hate hats, children, television, squids, bananas, motorcycles, Facebook, religion, eggs, Ghostbusters, round earth theory….. chances are you’re going to find it.”   

See? It works with anything. He did not stumble across some great secret tenant of feminism. Sorry.

But the truth is, and it is really, really sad that this even has to be explained, feminists don’t ‘hate men’. That is a diversionary tactic and quite an old one at that. There is so much information out there about what feminism stands for that not getting it reeks of ignorance.

In all actuality, we love men.

Love them.

You know why? Because the men that we surround ourselves with are awesome! These are the men who get it, who hear what we have to say, who recognize the inequalities surrounding us (all of us) on a daily basis. These men will change a diaper with the same skill and mental prowess as they would use to change a tire. These men know that taking care of their own children is called ‘parenting’, not ‘babysitting for mom’.

These men will hold a door open, but not because of patriarchal expectations of chivarly, but because they happened to be in front. They will not only watch the movie, but maybe even shed a tear when the dog dies. They will read the thing and talk about it after. They will acknowledge the culture of objectification surrounding women and little girls, the patriarchal gender norms which damages all children, girls and boys. They notice how difficult it is to find a Black Widow action figure to go with their son’s collection of Avengers toys. They realize how difficult it is that their partner can’t walk to the library without getting harrassed.

It is because of the existence of these men that we know bad behavior is not somehow inherient to male-dom. It is because of these men, that we know it is possible to function in the complex state of existing-while-human, to encompase traits of empathy without compromising one’s masculinity. (or compromising it, if that’s your thing).

When we draw attention to the inequalities surrounding us, we are not saying ‘We hate men’. We are saying, do better, and we are holding you accountable because we know it can be done. We know you can do better, because we are surrounded by those who do. Not only is it possible, but it’s also not all that difficult. I mean, look around.

Daniel Radcliffe gets it.

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John Legend gets it.

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George R.R. Martin gets it.

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Joss Whedon gets it.

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Even Sir Patrick Stewart gets it.

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And perhaps most importantly (to me anyway), this guy right here gets it.

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Free Comic Book Day 2016

In conclusion, it has been my experience that we as a culture are more prone to demonizing those who point out inequality, than we are to take a moment of self-reflection, examining in what ways we might be contributing to the problem. Furthermore, if you have a vocal outloud feminist in your life, congratulations. You made the cut. If not… well. I’m sure that’s purely by choice, right?

 

BANNED!!!

Well, this is a first…

A couple of days ago, I am scrolling through my Facebook feed, as I do and I come across a post, responding to the bathroom debate. This post strikes a chord with me and so I repost it. I click through to the original post, and I find that it is in the early stages of going viral. I believe it was stated that it had been shared 15,000 times in the first 24 hours. That’s viral, y’all.

Then, some time later, I return to facebook to find that I have been completely logged out. When I go through the steps to log back in, a page sized warning appears, containing the very post which I already know has gone viral. I have already posted it twice as the original poster has said that hers had been removed several times as well. Okay, fine. I log back in. Now I don’t consider myself TOO MUCH of an online activist. I have at most dabbled in the whole SJW scene, but this post was good. Very good. Like Killer Martinis good, and obviously, I am not the only one to think so.

I reposted it. Last night I opened my phone for one quick check. Once again I have been completely logged out. Once I go through all the steps to log back in I receive a page sized warning that I have been BANNED from Facebook for 24 hours, and the offending post is named as the reason. Much eye-rolling ensued. This is a description of one person’s perception of her own experience. Nothing more.

So why then, did it continue to be removed? One of the warnings I received stated that it contained “nudity or descriptions of nudity”. Unlike, for example, the group I found rather easily who’s description contains a well-known slur and who’s icon depicts a celebration of rape? Or another page which contains memes such as one describing the “perfect date” followed by a picture of a chloroform bottle, a black van, and a forest. Both pages show followers in the thousands. These are just two examples.

Checking out facebook’s  Community Standards pinpoints objections towards nudity and hate speech as I was informed in my wrist slap ban notice. Apparently rape threats do not constitute hate speech? I cannot fathom what within this post would constitute nudity or hate speech, especially compared to what is already so easily found on the social media platform.

My intention is to re-post the offending letter here, but I do wish to gain permission from the original author for doing so. As I have been banned from facebook for the time being, I cannot contact anyone through the platform. But a quick Bing search of the name Kasey Rose-Hodge should give you a long list of the various outlets which have picked up the story. Why would this be banned so vehemently and consistently by a platform which encourages “People [to] use Facebook to challenge ideas, institutions, and practices.” What do you think?

EDIT: The number of shares has been updated to 15,000 in the first 24 hours. The post originally said 4500.